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Sparkly UK Fans
all sparkle all the time...now with added tea!
Five Words Make A Story 
19th-Mar-2007 03:40 pm
Camp Sparkle
As those of you who were present are aware, one of the diversions available at Camp Sparkle was the Pink Book, into which was inscribed a story. Authors added five words at a time, as the urge struck. Contributors were: nopseud, pensnest, trumpeterofdoom, urbanoceanix, saba1789, rikes, ihearthings_ii, stellamira, turlough, iconis, cardalia, ninjetti75, bubbleforest, seiyaharris, adelate, ephemera_pop, turps33, _ducks, simply_fly_away, saffronra, and archie_gremlin. Yes indeed, everyone who attended Camp Sparkle participated in the creation of this story. I warned you I would name and shame you all, and so I have.

IMPORTANT: in case the above does not constitute sufficient warning, please also be aware that we redefined the words 'bad' and 'wrong' during the weekend. Those of you with strong nerves may now read on.

DISCLAIMER: no actual ducks were harmed during the making of this story, but severe damage was done to the pile of pixie stix.

For Footnotes, see Footnotes

Once upon a time, there was a lonely little sparkly boy. His name was not Chavez, or Jason Timberlake. He was not a frog or a tellytubby, but he was in a small cardboard box next to a tiny Space Cowboy. The cowboy's had covered his view of the pretty, fluffy teddybear called Chris, but he could see Justin's hand just moving under the bedclothes. This made him sad; he didn't feel Justin should be masturbating when he could rather be participating in a mutually satisfying dick in a box session.

Chris, for example, had already bought the wrapping paper for Lance's box. That really deserved some sort of celebration, really, birthday, Christmas or maybe Hallowe'en. Green paper, like his eyes. Joey sighed sadly. He loved green paper, but he never found anyone to wrap his box. JC only had eyes for a big ribbon festooned cupboard. (1)

"Joey," JC asked one day, "you know I think Justin is hot?"

"Yes," said Joey. "You could fry an egg on his forehead. Especially if you got Chris to do that thing he does with the—"

"Shut up!"

Joey raised an eyebrow. "You did it with Lance before, I don't think you have any reason to say that I shouldn't."

"Yes, but. You know. Justin. I never really thought about it. He was just there. It's a flexibility issue, man. He just looks so good when he cuts his hair, man."

"You mean the hair on his head, I hope. Otherwise he'll just bitch, the stubble drives him crazy. I myself always use wax, it lasts."

JC winced. "Ow, that sounds painful."

Joey shrugged.

JC tried not to imagine Justin doing that, pain wasn't his thing. And if Justin ever wanted to make it his thing... well, he might consider it.

"Hello, JC?" Joey waved his handful of pixie stix. "Remember you wanted to talk?"

JC blinked twice. "Oh. Yeah. Um."

Just then, Lance came out. As he was wont to do.

"What are you talking about?

Joey nudged JC in the unmentionables, and JC emitted a cloud of noxious neon gases.

"Gasmask," Chris said calmly, holding JC's crotch with his gloved hand and a practiced grip.

"Where the hell did you learn how to do that?"

"Lynn taught me all I—no, wait! I mean, um." JC stopped talking before he dug that hole any deeper.

Lance gave him his famous 'I-can-bring-you-to-screaming-ecstasy-within-three-minutes(2) grin, and gestured towards JC's obvious arousal. "It looks like you need a hand. Or two."

By now Justin was feeling left out of the action. He jumped out from behind the rack of lacy underwear, waving a pair of black garter-belts, pulling them over his jeans while thrusting his hips—then shrieked as the door opened.

"Guys?" Kevin Richardson stuck his head inside the room, holding a dildo in both hands as he looked at the group. "Thanks for the invite!"

Lance gasped. "Isn't that something?" (3)

"Stop blocking the door!" Howie griped, giving Kevin a shove. "I've this gift from Chris." He brandished the lamp gleefully. (4)

AJ came in, scowling. "Damn, that base is huge, man!"

"Uh-huh," Nick agreed, limping into Joey.

"Hey," Joey said, bracing himself. "Can I try that?"

"Sure. Just let me get something to help with the tricky bit. Chris! Bring the lube vat. We're going in!!" Nick pulled a box of table candles from behind his back, brandishing them with a hopeful grin. (5)

Lance raised an eyebrow. "You want two or three? How many does Brian usually use?"

Brian stepped out of the shower, wet, gleaming, and hard at work polishing his shiny toy duck (6)(7). He looked at Lance. "Okay, who's gonna start lubing up the duck, baby?"

Howie started to laugh. "Oh, I think Justin should try rimming Kevin first. For preparation."

Kevin went pale and backed away nervously. Backing up wasn't going to work, though, as Chris was waiting behind him. He had already put on his lucky sex hat. It was pink, and dildo shaped. Kevin made an undignified squeak but dropped his pants anyway. He bent, hands around ankles.

"Pass me that garter belt!"

Howie wrinkled his nose in dismay. Knot-around-dick accidents were terrible things to contemplate. He reached behind him for the button to activate the big vibrator, but unfortunately he grasped the towl wrapped around Brian's torso. The towel fell and Brian eeped in surprise, startling AJ, who grabbed him from behind and would not let go, until Brian's duck intervened.


"Your duck's name is Pecker?" AJ laughed and poked at JC, who was watching Justin shoot pleading looks to Lance.

"Kevin's thighs are too hairy for the garter-belt to stick," he complained.

"Wax them," suggested Joey. Kevin and JC winced.

AJ took out his tweezers, grinning as he lowered his underwear, revealing a bright yellow smily face sticker glued on to his left arse-cheek. Chris whooped in support. Brian grabbed the duck tape and shook his head.

"No, you're drone drone drone," said Kevin.

The duck looked quite alarmed, and quacked sadly. AJ cried and grasped Brian's great big jaw. Kevin jumped on to the inflatable life-size model of Chris, discovering it WAS Chris. Excited, he pumped his hips.

"Oh, yeah," said Justin, reaching with Nair-covered hands for Kevin's ass cheeks.

"Spread 'em, big boy," he said, and took a closer look at the bright purple bite mark on Kevin's hip. "Wait, that looks like mom's bite mark. WTF???"

"Um. How would you know?!!" Chris boggled, staring at Justin.

"Well, when I was younger—"

"No," JC said. "Don't tell!" JC paused, looking more and more interested. "Or maybe, yes!"

Lance vomited in the corner. AJ jumped out of the closed and pushed Howie in. Howie squealed and pulled on his lacy briefs, excited he found the pink ones. Chris meanwhile was pawing at Kevin's throbbing follicles (8), wiping off the cream. Kevin scowled, as he usually liked cream spread over his perky man breasts. He went red as Chris nuzzled his asshole.

"Your beard tickles!" he gasped. "Don't stop!" He bent over and spread his hands out for Justin, who made a face and turned to JC, took his hand and placed it on JC's cheek.

"Have I told you lately that I really want you to fuck me?"

JC had no problem with that, and so he dropped his pants and dragged Justin to the floor. "Spread 'em."

Justin was naked by now, ass in the air. JC slapped it and put lube on his fingers, slipping them in, one at a time. (9)

"I want more," Justin said, moaning, so JC used four. "That's enough, just fuck me. Now!" So JC got in position and thrust hard, Justin opening easily for him."God, that's so good. Harder!"

As JC thrust, he felt someone entering him from behind. "Who's that?" JC asked.


It wasn't that unleasant, though, the beak especially, no smooth dildo had the organic quality as it slid into JC's ass. He pushed back enthusiastically.

AJ crunched on his popcorn. Joey zoomed his camera on JC's face, and muffled quacking was heard as Kevin finally goosed the duck, Chris slid to the floor hiccupping hysterically and Joey slipped his cock into Nick. Nick grabbed Lance's ass and pulled him to the giant vat of lube.

"AJ, come here!" Lance said. AJ put his popcorn down, just to see the duck keel over and die. "Fuck me with a dead duck!" AJ cried.

Unfortunately, the duck hadn't died but merely passed out.

"Fuck a duck!" Joey said enthusiastically, and bent over to pick up a feather duster and handcuffs. Justin held out his hands immediately and Joey clapped them on. Meanwhile, in the other corner, Lance, Howie and Brian sucked Lou Perlman and Kevin Federline (10)

into an inter-dimensional space portal.

"Moohaha!" cackled Lance. "Now, minions, unleash the purple sparkly sexbots! Howie, drop your pants and get on your hands and pleasure Justin with your tongue."

"I'm busy with my lamp!"

"Howie, don't make me get the tongs out. Nick, time for reinforcements. Fetch Skeevy Steve."

"Awww, Aaron is for incest!"

Nick pulled his fingers out of Kevin's nose, then freed Brian. He had been tied to AJ for the last ten minutes. Brian took the leash and fastened it around Joey's cock-ring, then took him to Aaron, handing the leash to the tentacle protruding from Lance's mouth. Chris, alarmed, attempted to intervene, but Lance's laser glare, combined with Steve's hand on the end of the throbbing spurting tentacle stopped that idea. He joined the Mousketeers instead.

Back at the lab, Trace wept. His antidote formula failing, tentacles now circles his best friend's mother's gaping nostrils.

"Have you been a bad boy Justin?" intoned the Lynnmonster, wrapping a tentacle around her left breast. "Take your punishment you miserable little twerp!"

Howie shrieked as his Lamp was unexpectedly removed.

"Momma, the handcuffs you put on Brian are gorgeous. Can I wear them?"

"You have your own!" Steve bellowed, brandishing the teapot threateningly.

There was an ominous quacking sound as the duck fell into AJ's lap, flapping and twisting.

"Dudes, the sexbot," Kevin said. Then he paused. Later, Jane Carter entered the scene, wailing and moaning, on her broken ankle, and then Lynnmonster took her to Casualty. Kevin went along with them, ready to kiss it better.

Then Lynn and Jane died.

This made Justin sad. JC had to masturbate to relieve his beloved, until zombie!Lynn appeared, getting in on the action.

Horrified, Brian snatched the duck and put it down his pants, a little duck head. Zombie!Lynn burst into flames. Justin did the dance of joy. Free at last!

Or, so he thought. Lynn met Lou in hell, and died again.

Meanwhile, AJ and Brian were fucking like bunnies. Lance watched the sexbots advance slowly towards Joey, intent on grabbing his testicles and rubbing them on Justin's forehead. JC was horrified. But also quite turned on.

Meanwhile Howie and Trace were greasing up the duck, ready to cook it. The duck acquired a machinegune and shot itself in the wing several times before a shot caught Justin between the eyes. Lance tackled the duck and handcuffed it, before looking worriedly across to see if Kevin was dead. He was. Oops? But Pecker only shot blanks! Justin ran to Kevin, weeping over his dead true love. He wiped his nose on Kevin's awesome coat and realised that he was bleeding from the ass. Brian flailed at Lance, and caught his foot in Lamp's flex. Catastrophe! Lamp flashed alarmingly but Brian was saved when Chris grabbed the base and thrust it back into its package.(11)

Lance burst into tears and said, "You've deceived me, Lamp! Screw yourself and your stupid flex!"

There was a mighty explosion. Nick choked on the candles. Steve got eaten by zombie!Kevin. AJ fucked JC and died. JC died, sobbing, in Chris's arms; distraught, Chris committed suicide. Lamp jumped and killed Kevin. Pecker pecked Lance to death. Joey drowned in his tears. Brian fell into a fire. The sexbots caused Aaron's demise, terrifying Howie into brain failure. Sadly, Trace died in childbirth, and his assbaby ate Justin. The sexbots bored Lamp into the assbaby, and disintegrated.(12)

Thus, Brian's Pecker rules the world!

THE END (13)
19th-Mar-2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. I'm reading and laughing all over again.

This story just sums up the whole weekend really.

Pecker is so going to be famous now *g*
19th-Mar-2007 07:07 pm (UTC)
19th-Mar-2007 10:59 pm (UTC)
I am totally and utterly terrified.

Sounds like you had a cracked out and fabulous time <3
21st-Mar-2007 01:25 am (UTC)
I am totally and utterly terrified. Entirely appropriate. We scared ourselves, at several points...

ounds like you had a cracked out and fabulous time Oh yeah! Don't miss the recaps!
19th-Mar-2007 11:14 pm (UTC)
Every time I even think about this story, I crack up. I'm sure I'm going to have a good time at school this week. ;)
(Deleted comment)
20th-Mar-2007 12:28 am (UTC)
20th-Mar-2007 12:28 am (UTC)
[wipes away single tear] It's beautiful.

...[laughs ass off] Oh man, that is truly the best crack. Poor everybody. [laughs]
20th-Mar-2007 01:04 am (UTC)
I'm sitting here in my London hostel room on the BFF's laptop with a very weak signal, and DYING of laughter. I logged on just to read the wrongness that is this story, so be PROUD. (It is a mark of how much my BFF loves me that she willingly read the story and wasn't phased by it at all.)
20th-Mar-2007 06:54 am (UTC)



..and the rest of it.

20th-Mar-2007 09:23 am (UTC)
The utter BRILLIANCE of this renders me stupid. My face is kinda stuck between horror and fascination and GLEE right now!

archie_gremlin contributed, too? BWAHAHAHA, that's awesome!
20th-Mar-2007 08:36 pm (UTC)
.... we scare me.
20th-Mar-2007 09:29 pm (UTC)
I'm still traumatized by the line before the break, even if it was fixed by the space portal.

But how come we're almost the only ones commenting here?
21st-Mar-2007 01:49 am (UTC)
I've just been reading fanficrants, and I mourn the fact that I did not manage to work the phrase "his throbbing love-sausage" into this story.
21st-Mar-2007 11:59 am (UTC)
Bwahahhaahahaa! I keep reading this and cracking up over and over again. That's something truly special right there!

21st-Mar-2007 05:17 pm (UTC)
I'm laughing too hard to be terrified. Almost.
21st-Mar-2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
It was awesome to experience the growth of this story in an, mm, organic way. There were several points at which people ran away screaming. But they came back.
21st-Mar-2007 06:19 pm (UTC)
That was utterly terrifying and extremely confusing! O__O


But it was funny as hell! LOL My fav lines I have to say are:

he didn't feel Justin should be masturbating when he could rather be participating in a mutually satisfying dick in a box session. LMFAO and:
Just then, Lance came out. As he was wont to do. and:
"Spread 'em, big boy," he said, and took a closer look at the bright purple bite mark on Kevin's hip. "Wait, that looks like mom's bite mark. WTF???"

"Um. How would you know?!!" Chris boggled, staring at Justin.

"Well, when I was younger—"

"No," JC said. "Don't tell!" JC paused, looking more and more interested. "Or maybe, yes!"

Lance vomited in the corner.

There so great lines and phrases I don't know what to do with myself. :D Assbaby is certainly one of them though. LOL I'm really surprised Wade didn't make it into it. :P
21st-Mar-2007 10:28 pm (UTC)
It's a little bit alarming to realise that several of the people at Camp Sparkle committed their first fiction within this story. :-)
21st-Mar-2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
Erm, what do you mean by 'committed their first fiction'? Sorry, insomnia is getting the best of me lol.
22nd-Mar-2007 10:39 am (UTC)
Just that not all the people at Camp Sparkle were fiction writers, but we managed to persuade everyone to contribute to the story. When it's only five words, it's not so hard, right?
22nd-Mar-2007 12:23 pm (UTC)
LoL That must've been fun. Ya'll broke their Pop fic cherry. :P
22nd-Mar-2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
Everything in this story is so wrong and incredibly right at the same time. I laughed myself silly! The crack that is this story has made me only love our fandom even more. Kudos to y'all!
22nd-Mar-2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
It was even funnier when observed during construction - there were howls and shrieks of dismay at various points, as you can probably imagine! Considering we thought there was a fair chance nobody would take an interest at all, it turned out to be a brilliant 'bonding exercise'!
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